No Boys Allowed!

Okay girls, it's finally time for me to make a move and trample on a few toes. There is something that has come to my attention that needs to be addressed. There's no graceful way to enter into the subject so I'm just going to spell it out: Girls, Every Boy You Meet Is NOT Interested In You! I know, this is going to be hard for some of you to believe, but it's true.

*sigh* Ladies, please refrain from embarrassing yourself by having the mistaken idea that every male you meet has suddenly fallen for you. You are not the answer to "man-kind".

Let me explain what happens and what is happening and what needs to happen so that everyone's minds and hearts can be clear and pure and focused in accordance with the word of God.

Expectation
As little girls we are encouraged to play wife and mother and to dress up dollies and buy groceries for our families. This is a beautiful pastime, innocent and cute. As we grow, we are encouraged to plan for our not-so-distant family in reality. This, too, is beautiful as our mothers teach us about being good wives and mothers and housekeepers. It becomes something we look forward to and wait for and hope for and dream for. However, without realizing it, we begin to imagine that we are entitled to something - marriage. Though marriage is God-designed and a blessing to those who enter into a sacred union under the lordship and blood of Jesus Christ, we should never presume to know God's perfect plan. But as youngsters, we expect...

Desperation
So when we begin to blossom from childhood to womanhood we have in our mind that Prince Charming is going to be standing there on the other side with a bouquet of flowers and a ring. And since this is most certainly the case, every male is a potential Prince Charming! This sets us up for heartache. Because over and over again we are going to be disappointed. Why? Because every boy we meet is NOT going to be interested in us. We may be smitten as soon as we see him enter the room, but he's probably got other things on his mind, like "I wish this event was over so me and the guys could go play basketball." Therefore, since we know that he must be "the one", because all others have failed, we grab for his attention and make ourselves look ridiculous. Also, if this poor boy happens to come up and give us a casual handshake, we've immediately deduced that he has just proposed and now should give us his undying attention.

Girls, really! We are a crazy lot. It's perfectly understandable why we are, but the fact still remains - we are! Way back at the beginning, "God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He them; male and female created He them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it...And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him...And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Gen. 1-2) It is completely natural for a girl to desire the love and relationship of a man, and to bear children and raise a family. God created that desire. This is a good thing!

However, when this 'good thing' becomes the 'only thing' that girls focus on, they are guilty of setting up this desire as a god in their hearts and minds. They replace the love relationship that Christ wants to have in their hearts with a human relationship that is only temporary in light of eternity. Even a 'good thing' can become an idol in our lives if it takes precedence over God, His word and the plan He wants to fulfill in us. When this becomes the case, we not only are violating God's commandment to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind" (Matt. 22:37), but we are laying the foundation for desperation. Whenever we begin to think that time and opportunity has passed us by, we become desperate...

Devastation
This ultimately results in devastating consequences - physically and spiritually. Desperation throws clear thinking out the window. Desperation causes us to make decisions we never would make; choose paths we would never choose. Desperation mocks wisdom and common sense. Desperation is what drives girls to make rash relationship-based decisions which end up in devastating situations. Abuse, neglect, lack of true love, hardship, broken homes, divorce, abortion, etc - this is some of the physical devastation that desperate girls find themselves in. Anger, bitterness, resentment, unfaithfulness, lack of self-control, etc - this is some of the spiritual devastation that desperate girls find themselves in.

When a girl's only focus is on what she does not have instead of what God has given her, Satan spies a weakness where he can create inner, emotional and spiritual havoc and devastate...

HOW CAN THIS BE AVOIDED?

Preparation
During the tender ages, a girl can be taught that "playing house" is more of a preparation for what God may fulfill in her life later down the road. Baby dolls and bottles, chores, even school can be props and tools and moments to teach and encourage girls to be better house keepers, wives and mothers for if and when God brings about that plan and purpose.

Appreciation
In the meantime, girls should look at every male as a brother. Real brothers makes this much easier. Ask yourself, Would I look at my brother this way? Would I talk to my brother this way? Would I act like this in front of my brother? If you do have brothers, lean on them, as well as your father, as the only men you truly need in your life - for the time being. Build the relationship strong between your siblings. Brothers and sisters can look out for each other and take care of each other. Brothers like to feel "needed" by their sisters. Make a strong point of never going beyond the point of "friend" with guys. Appreciate a guy's role and God-given calling: to work hard, to be responsible, to protect and to provide. He has enough trouble trying to accomplish these tasks without our giddy, annoying and distracting attentions.

Above all else, learn to love the One man, who is also your God and Creator; the Father who loves you more than anyone in the world; your faithful Lover, your true Friend, your gracious Savior, Jesus Christ. This is a love relationship that you cannot truly live without. This is the relationship that should inspire your thoughts, thrill your heart and motivate your will to seek time to spend in His arms, in His word, in the riches of His love. Stop and think about this man who has sacrificed for your sake. Stop and consider what this man gave up for you. Stop and wonder at how His heart beats for you, His arms long to hold you, His voice softly speaks in your ear. Begin to focus on Him. Diligently seek Him for direction, for purpose, for ways to be His hands and His feet and His light to this dark world. Fix your eyes and your mind and your heart, your desire, on what He has given you and how you can further His kingdom and bring Him glory. When we take the time to turn our attention to Jesus, we find ourselves satisfied and content in the place He has set us, and with the work He has entrusted us.

Celebration
Inevitably this will lead to celebration! Marriage? Possibly. Love? Undoubtedly. But the love that is pure and holy and satisfying - the love of the Father and the Savior. More often than not, a girl will find herself being swept off her feet, romanced by the man of her dreams, but now it will be a secondary romance. Her first Love will be the strength she will rely on to be the godly wife, mother and homemaker she was made and designed to be. There will be joy in her face because this human love story reflects and reminds her of the ultimate Love story she has already experienced.

I cannot stress to you how important the scripture is which commands us to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, which is your will, with all your soul, which is your emotions, and with all your mind, which is your thoughts. Our whole being, all that we are, must be first and foremost loving God with ALL that we have. If our minds continually drift to whether Mr. So-and-so is Mr. Right, then we are violating the command to love with ALL our mind. Girls, please hear me, please listen. To follow the Expectation-Desperation-Devastation act is to live and work and strive in our own power. But the truth of the matter is, "from one man He made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men [and women] would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. 'For in Him we live and move and have our being.'" (Acts 17:26-28) God is in COMPLETE control of our lives. He has known us from our birth and He alone knows what our future holds. We can trust Him. We can trust Him to know exactly what is best for us, even if we cannot fathom how or why. To follow the Preparation-Appreciation-Celebration act is the BEST way to find true contentment and peace in knowing that you are in good hands, in faithful hands, of the One who cares for and loves you for all time. Life and love is so much sweeter!